Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Life.
It's coming at me pretty hard. I dont think im doing as well as i could be doing in school. I strive for excellence. Perfection. But lately I am falling short. I know I sound greedy because I am getting low As and high/low Bs. Its bothering me though. I need for my grades to be impeccable. Without amazing grades, Im not going to get my scholarship. We dont have the money for a University. But thats all I want. Its like this incredible pressure I have had since the 7th grade. And its not even by family . Its all me. I want to be valedvictorian. I want to go away to school and make something of myself. Consequences? Always worrying. Forever there will be a voice in the back of my mind. Did you do the homework?Are your grades OK? I freak out on myself, too. Why did you get lower than a B on this quiz? God you are so freakin stupid. Maybe its a bit harsh, but its what I do. I need to slow down. I feel like I am in the center of a tornado. Everything is spinning around me and I cant stop anything.
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Hey, it's always good to have goals :) I'm in almost exaclty the same situation about college, so I understand the crazy pressure. except for the pressure put on me is from my parents :P
ReplyDeletebut hey, little known fact, you don't have to have a flawless gpa to get into an ivy-league uni. my mom got into harvard when she was seventeen with a 3.2. crazy right? if you really want scholarships, get involved in as many extra-carriculars as you can, and try a music program or two if your school has them. a letter in choir can even help towards a scholarship.
also bare in mind that you are only a freshman, darling, and it's still the very very veryyy beginning of the year. if you get a b, don't beat yourself up :)
sorry for writing you a novel :P
Jules