Fourteen.

It's my age.
It's young.
It's how old you have been for almost four days.
By the way, Happy Birthday.
It's one of the reasons I am so disappointed in you.
Your fourteen year oldself, so ready to grow up.

You love him? You're 14.
He loves you? He's 14.
I just don't understand. Right? I have never loved a man like you have?
Man?
He's a boy. You're a girl. Not much more than that.
And It's not love. It's fake. False. Not real.
Like your "relationship".

You gave yourself to him.
At 14.
Fourteen.

I thought you had a little pride.
What about that respect lecture you gave to another girl two years older than us. Who hadn't even done what you did.

At the end of the day, dear, you're a kid. Who made a mistake. You'll see when you have grown up a little.
Because you are far from it, no matter what you did with him.

Fourteen.
Your age.

Honestly.
You won't even talk to him by the end of ninth grade.
Yes. Ninth grade.
That doesn't sound so adult to me, although you think it might as well be your last year of college, seeing as the way you act.

Serious.
You act so serious.
But you shouldn't. That relationship isn't real.
You act like it all matters.
You won't remember his name in ten years.

Shame.
It's a shame.

But you love him, right?
I sure hope so.

Life as I know it.

Boring. Uneventful. Worrysome.

But that's why waiting was created. You have to wait for something exciting to come and carry you away.
I, my dearies, can not wait for this to happen.
Maybe It will be my first year of high school.
Although, I feel it should be my first year of retirement.

High school.
It's getting closer and closer. And Im not sure if im nervous. Or happy. Or sad. Maybe, Im just confused.
Confused? Really?


Anyway. A little shout out to my favorite blog writer(:
RainboRevolver!

How ironic you would write about your situaution with your friends.
Because Im the brunette.
And for awhile I have been so afraid of how the you in my situation feels.
I hate inconveniencing people. Everytime we hang out, I feel so bad.
I feel like she is thinking:
Who does she think she is? How is she going to march into my best friends life and be such great friends with her?
HELLO!
She is my best friend. Since third grade. Find someone else.

But she is my best friend, too. And she will be for a long time.

The you and me have grown into super good friends over the last two years. I'm not even sure she thinks that. But even if she did, as you are now, I wouldn't back off. And most likely the brunette won't either.

I hope this helped and you aren't angry that I wrote it.
I'm just trying to help you.

Remember!
Brunette, unlike me, sounds like she wants you out.
Show her you are not going anywhere.
But try to include her and yourself, to make blonde happy.
Try to be friends?

(:

Facts.

Funny. Little. Facts.

I love them.
Actually. I love to learn.
But not about school things.
I love stupid facts that i will never have to use.
For example. Did you know that after the average person dies, they will have dreamed 6 years?
Six. Years.
Or, that if you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will turn white?
Yep. Stupid trivia fills my brain.
I know something about just about anything.

I'm a huge dork!
&& I enjoy it.

Blondie Buns.

Me: Why do you think that?
Mallory is Offline.

And by that I mean, What the hell.

Him: Blondie Buns. I don't want to tell you. I don't want you to worry. I still love you though. :P
Daniel is Offline.

Daniel. You stupid semi colan and capital p tongue face does not make me happy.
When you say stuff like that, ITMAKESMEWORRY.
Just sayin.

Nothing.

Zero.
None.
Gone.
Nothing.

And that's all i have to blog tonight.
Absolutely nothing.
<3

Secrets.

How can we accept another to keep our secret if we have been unable to keep it ourselves.
-François de La Rochefoucauld

I read this today.
I fell in love with this today.

It makes so much sense to me.
Really. Why would people trust others with their secrets, If we can't keep them ourselves?
Telling a secret is like saying "Hey it's okay to tell my secret. I did."


I have always lived this way, but never actually thought about it.
Ha. I can't even think of 5 secrets I have told about myself (:
Is that boastful?
But I've always thought telling secrets is foolish. Maybe it's because I think too much. I'm an old soul.

But back to the point.
That french guy is a smart dude.
Don't tell your secrets. They will only come back to you.

Growing Apart.

Me: Grrrnesss. Daniel. I haven't talked to you in forever! I really wish you were on now. Hmm. Maybe, we will just talk later? But not fosho. My mom might not let me on the computer :(
Mallory is offline.

1 hour 11 minutes later

Him: i have a feeling we'll never talk/see each other again eventually.
Daniel is offline.

And just like that, my heart sank.
I really, really, hope he is wrong. But hope only goes so far, then reality steps in.

Reality is, people change, and leave, so we can learn to let go.
But that is one of the hardest lessons a person could ever learn. Letting go means goodbye. Goodbye means not seeing eachother again for years, maybe forever. And that is hard to bear. Hard to think about.

Quite frankly, it scares me.