"I love you"

"For now" I jokingly responded. "I love you, too"

But we both know. We are young. We really do feel love, stronger than adults, i believe. But it's like we are infants again. You give us something and we don't know what it is or even how to use it.
Or.
Maybe I'm just thinking too much again. I tend to do overthink simple things.
I wish i could stop myself. Tell myself, "He simply likes you. And you, him."

But to wrap it up, Thanks guys. Im so happy we're together again.
<3

Waiting.

What I'm doing now.
What I'd do forever for you.
What eats at my insides.
What makes me obsess.

Story Time.

But, It was not your fault, but mine.
And it was your heart on the line.
I really f***ed it up this time.
Didn't I, my dear?
Didn't I, my dear?


I went out with this guy. I felt like anything was possible when we were together, and apart, he was all I could think about.
I never wanted to leave his side. But one weekend, he got wasted with his friends, and broke up with me. Im not going to lie, I was pretty upset. But not heart broken. No one will ever do that to me.

Previously, He had lied to me, saying "No, I dont do those things. Really."
But, he does. Alot apparently.

A month or two goes by. Not a sorry or an explanation. Just a hey in homeroom. All i could think was "Really? Hey? Don't you see what you are doing to me?"
But I would never tell him that.

So summer rolls around. He messaged me on facebook. Says he is really sorry for everything. For lying, and not talking to me. Said, breaking up with me was the worst thing he has ever done. He writes about how since getting drunk and high made him make such a mistake, he hasn't done it since.
Really?

But I won't be naive. I know he doesn't mean a thing.
I call. We talk for awhile. I tell him what I think about him and he takes it like a good sport. He makes me laugh and I'm right there again. Laughing like an idiot, being the happiest I've ever been.

Oh, how I miss that boy.
But I won't take him back.
Not now.

We talk everyday.
And yesterday he sent me the song "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons. (Youtube it!)
The chorus are the lyrics I wrote.
It made me cry a little. I'm such a nerd.
But It hit home I guess. And although not a day goes by where I don't think about him. Now its constant. Just like the song he sent. I put it on my ipod immediately. It literally has not once stopped playing.

That's my story. A stupid story about a stupid boy. And I know it all won't matter. But It matters now. Even though I'm only fourteen.
I know it's not love. We are just in like, i guess.

The End.

Fourteen.

It's my age.
It's young.
It's how old you have been for almost four days.
By the way, Happy Birthday.
It's one of the reasons I am so disappointed in you.
Your fourteen year oldself, so ready to grow up.

You love him? You're 14.
He loves you? He's 14.
I just don't understand. Right? I have never loved a man like you have?
Man?
He's a boy. You're a girl. Not much more than that.
And It's not love. It's fake. False. Not real.
Like your "relationship".

You gave yourself to him.
At 14.
Fourteen.

I thought you had a little pride.
What about that respect lecture you gave to another girl two years older than us. Who hadn't even done what you did.

At the end of the day, dear, you're a kid. Who made a mistake. You'll see when you have grown up a little.
Because you are far from it, no matter what you did with him.

Fourteen.
Your age.

Honestly.
You won't even talk to him by the end of ninth grade.
Yes. Ninth grade.
That doesn't sound so adult to me, although you think it might as well be your last year of college, seeing as the way you act.

Serious.
You act so serious.
But you shouldn't. That relationship isn't real.
You act like it all matters.
You won't remember his name in ten years.

Shame.
It's a shame.

But you love him, right?
I sure hope so.

Life as I know it.

Boring. Uneventful. Worrysome.

But that's why waiting was created. You have to wait for something exciting to come and carry you away.
I, my dearies, can not wait for this to happen.
Maybe It will be my first year of high school.
Although, I feel it should be my first year of retirement.

High school.
It's getting closer and closer. And Im not sure if im nervous. Or happy. Or sad. Maybe, Im just confused.
Confused? Really?


Anyway. A little shout out to my favorite blog writer(:
RainboRevolver!

How ironic you would write about your situaution with your friends.
Because Im the brunette.
And for awhile I have been so afraid of how the you in my situation feels.
I hate inconveniencing people. Everytime we hang out, I feel so bad.
I feel like she is thinking:
Who does she think she is? How is she going to march into my best friends life and be such great friends with her?
HELLO!
She is my best friend. Since third grade. Find someone else.

But she is my best friend, too. And she will be for a long time.

The you and me have grown into super good friends over the last two years. I'm not even sure she thinks that. But even if she did, as you are now, I wouldn't back off. And most likely the brunette won't either.

I hope this helped and you aren't angry that I wrote it.
I'm just trying to help you.

Remember!
Brunette, unlike me, sounds like she wants you out.
Show her you are not going anywhere.
But try to include her and yourself, to make blonde happy.
Try to be friends?

(:

Facts.

Funny. Little. Facts.

I love them.
Actually. I love to learn.
But not about school things.
I love stupid facts that i will never have to use.
For example. Did you know that after the average person dies, they will have dreamed 6 years?
Six. Years.
Or, that if you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will turn white?
Yep. Stupid trivia fills my brain.
I know something about just about anything.

I'm a huge dork!
&& I enjoy it.

Blondie Buns.

Me: Why do you think that?
Mallory is Offline.

And by that I mean, What the hell.

Him: Blondie Buns. I don't want to tell you. I don't want you to worry. I still love you though. :P
Daniel is Offline.

Daniel. You stupid semi colan and capital p tongue face does not make me happy.
When you say stuff like that, ITMAKESMEWORRY.
Just sayin.